I was in a state of shock having just witnessed a vision of Christ (“You are Purified.”) as my wife, my fiancee at the time, drove me to her mother’s home. My thoughts were incoherent as I attempted to explain to her what I had just experienced. In my mind, I was convinced that witnessing a visitation from Jesus could mean one thing, that the end was near.

We entered her mother’s home and proceeded to sit together on a couch in the living room. She was very supportive as I continued to ramble on about my thoughts on witnessing the vision of Jesus. Then a thought came to mind. I felt the need to rebuke evil spirits. My wife would later say she was surprised (as was I) that I even knew to do such a practice, however, I had just read about it in the Gospel earlier that week. I elected to rebuke those sins considered to be deadly sins because of simply having a basic understanding that they exist. I stated out loud,” By the power of God and in the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke Lust and cast you back to hell.”

I’ll never forget the sensation I felt in rebuking sins, as it was extremely unpleasant. The reaction was very unexpected. It felt as though I was violently vomiting some spiritually tangible substance. Dependant upon which sin was being rebuked, a different sized form of invisible and disgusting matter would come up out and off of me. I found it interesting that some of my deadly sins were extremely taxing in getting out and others reasonably easier. After rebuking all the deadly sins, I felt weak, but, also cleansed and having the feeling of wellness.

Having a keener understanding of the burden of sin, from the rebuking experience, and of what confession can bring about, from the “You are purified” experience, I felt compelled to confess any past transgressions that had always laid heavy on my heart. I began speaking of anything that came to mind, actually speaking about transgressions that I hadn’t considered in years, even decades. I suspect that the Holy Spirit was guiding me through my confession as I was bringing about subject matter that I had purposely forgotten. Regardless, I felt it important to verbally express, to share, those aspects of my life that I considered shameful.

Inspired by my confessions, my wife desired to share a transgression that had been weighing on her heart. As she began, fear coursed through my body as I imagined the worst. I couldn’t look at her as she began to detail her transgression. I recall seeing in my minds eye a demon, grotesque in appearance, breathing heavily beside me. I, literally, had to will myself to turn towards her to face my fear. As I turned, expecting to confront the demon face to face, my wife expressed a transgression that was far less disconcerting than I had imagined. The demonic image I saw bearing down on me wasn’t there, as if it had never existed.  

After our confessions I sensed the presence (unseen) of Jesus and John the Baptist. To this day, I find it interesting that I sensed John the Baptist. I’m not able to provide any descriptions of his presence, but, I still have this understanding he was in the room with me at that time. I expressed to my wife sensing their presence. She remarked, and can still recall it today, that she could see Jesus in me. I remember telling her the same. The difference was that I meant it figuratively and she meant it literally.

I also recall sensing the presence of my Guardian Angel. When I expressed this to my wife I instinctively called my Guardian Angel by the name of Chauffrey. Interestingly, I can’t ever recall speaking the name Chauffrey, however, my parents have stated that when I was a young child I used to say the name Chauffrey which was interpreted to be my effort in stating my baby brother’s name of Jeffery. I recall how pleased I was at the time to address my Guardian Angel by name.

I can’t recall what acted as the catalyst to what I was about to experience next, but, suddenly a flash went off in my mind. Then another and another. It seemed to be a popping followed by a burst of light. The flashes continued, multiplying by the second. It was as if my head were filled with paparazzi taking pictures with flashbulbs. The difference, however, was that the flashes in my mind were staying lit. I remained still as the flashes continued to rapidly burst, filling my mind with light. I’ve come to believe in a personal theory that what was occurring to me was that all the synapse, the neurotransmitters, in my brain were being ignited. After a few moments, the last flash burst and my mind was filled with light. And, suddenly, I was aware of being with God.

I recall there being a sensation of continuous energy flowing, like the buzzing of electricity, throughout my entire body. What I felt was joy. I can’t, however, truly describe the magnitude of the joy I felt. It was so intense that I could barely stand it. The only instance I can compare the sensation to is the understanding of joy felt by a very small child who is surprised to see their parent walk into the room. The child’s eyes widen and their face beams with excitement as they hop up and down from the happiness that fills them. That’s how I felt only a hundred times better,… a thousand times better. 

For a brief period I felt connected to God as if in someway I was plugged in. I was conscious of my own thinking, but, also aware of being with God and able to communicate with God. I was not able to hear a voice in my head, God’s nor mine. I actually couldn’t hear myself think as my thoughts seemed to travel away rather than echo back to me. I remember asking God about my father as I was concerned for his spiritual well being and the reply I received was, “Do not worry about your father.” I have always found God’s reply to my query to be perplexing (Is he okay or not okay?). I’m left with the understanding that it’s in God’s hands and I can pray on my father’s behalf.

There’s another aspect of my experience that I marvel at in that God showcased to me a sense of humor. I won’t share all the details, as it’s a case of being between us, however, I felt compelled to apologize for something and God provided a humorous retort. I do feel it’s important to share this because in His effort to show me that He has a sense of humor He not only showcased friendship, but also, forgiveness, kindness, thoughtfulness and many other attributes that one would associate with a loving father. 

The experience of feeling connected to God lasted a short while. I did not receive any commandments, instructions, or prophecies. I don’t even recall receiving a farewell. I honestly don’t have any idea as to why I was provided with such an amazing encounter. I just hope that in sharing it that others will consider developing a relationship with God.

I’d like to note that in writing this I found it to be a much more daunting task than I anticipated. The reason being is that it made me refocus my thoughts on my experience with God, the Father, and how much I miss being with Him. The love I felt was so pleasing that to dwell on it brings about melancholy because I miss it so very greatly. I wish to express an understanding that there is nothing on this earth that compares with the joy I experienced when I was connected with God. And, that we should not allow for any sin to jeopardize our opportunity to receive God’s love.